


what waffling can entail

by whenyouheldtheknife



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Established Relationship, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Gen, Implied Relationships, M/M, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Kissing, Platonic Relationships, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, could be romantic or platonic, i left it open for you guys to choose so have fun with that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-02-22 08:53:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2501864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whenyouheldtheknife/pseuds/whenyouheldtheknife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dan's having a depressive/existential episode and phil's there to cuddle him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what waffling can entail

**Author's Note:**

> 1) this is super fucking typical; so sorry D:  
> 2) i'm a piece of phandom trash but i restrained myself from making this explicitly a romantic relationship for the platonic shippers out there i love you guys  
> 3) come say hi on [tumblr!](http://rudejolras.tumblr.com)

from: Dan  
to: Phil <3  
do you ever wonder if theres a purpose to anything

from: Phil  
to: Dan <3  
not really no. why?

from: Dan  
to: Phil <3  
jw 

from: Phil  
to: Dan <3  
dan  
talk to me  
whats wrong  
dan cmon 

from: Dan  
to: Phil <3  
im fine dont come in 

from: Phil  
to: Dan <3  
…  
whys your door locked  
dan, let me in 

from: Dan  
to: Phil <3  
just  
wait  
im sorry 

from: Phil  
to: Dan <3  
im getting the master key 

\- - - -

After a brief moment of Phil fiddling around with the master key in the lock to Dan’s bedroom door, he got the door to open. 

Stepping into the room, Phil had expected to see -- well, he didn’t really know what he expected to see. He only knew that he hadn’t expected to see Dan curled up in a lump on top of his comforter, clothed in trackies and an old shirt. “Hey,” he said, walking fully into the room and taking a seat on the bed near Dan. “What’s up?” 

Dan took a long moment to answer, but Phil knew better than to make him speak sooner. When Dan finally spoke, his voice was hoarse. “Not sure about the point,” he answered. 

Phil put a hand gently on Dan’s curved back. Lightly, he began to run his hand up and down, trying to soothe Dan somehow. His body was curled up tightly, his limbs tucked under him like a cat’s and his head turned away from Phil. “The point of what?” he asked softly, still stroking Dan’s back. 

“Everything,” Dan muttered, his words barely audible even though Phil was sitting right next to him. “What’s the point of making videos?” he continued, his voice growing louder with each word. “Of trying so hard to please an audience that doesn’t really know anything about me or my life? Of working at all? Of getting dressed, of getting out of bed. I don’t know what has a purpose anymore, Phil, or if anything does have a purpose. Or what that purpose would be.” Dan’s back was shaking underneath Phil’s hand as his muscles clenched and unclenched in uncontrollable shivers. Phil stopped stroking Dan’s back, instead moving his hand up to card his fingers slowly through Dan’s slightly damp, curly hair. He must have gone straight back into bed after showering earlier, Phil realized. 

“Let’s talk this out, okay?” Phil asked, making sure to keep his voice calm. “Is that okay with you?” Dan paused, then Phil felt him nod. Reassured by this, Phil pressed on. “I know you’re worried about doing well. I know it’s hard, Dan, we have the same job. Not the same fans,” he was quick to correct, “but similar. Do you want to know what I do to keep going?” 

Dan nodded again and Phil noticed that he was starting to relax as Phil spoke. “I make it have its own purpose. You’ve got to create that for yourself, Dan,” Phil murmured, leaning in a little closer so that Dan could hear him. “When I make videos and upload them, loads of people see them because they want to. And it makes them happy to watch my videos. And that’s really good. So my purpose in making videos is to make the people that watch them feel happy.” Pausing to withdraw his hand from Dan’s hair and return it to his back, Phil asked, “Does that make sense?” 

It took Dan a solid minute -- Phil was counting the seconds -- to do anything. To Phil’s surprise, Dan turned his head and looked up at Phil. His eyes were puffy -- Dan had been crying, Phil realized -- and his complexion looked pale. “It’s still hard,” Dan finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Phil felt his heart sink at the sight of Dan so upset. It had been a while since Dan had had an episode, let alone an episode this bad. Phil always used to feel at a loss as to how to help Dan, because he wouldn’t communicate and Phil always wanted to talk things out. Over time, though, he had developed a strategy that seemed to help Dan feel at least marginally better. 

“Come here,” Phil said, shifting himself so that he was lying on his side next to Dan, facing him. He stuck his arms out and Dan scooted into the open embrace without protest, cuddling right up to Phil’s chest. 

“Thanks,” he murmured. Dan’s arms were curled around his stomach, but his hands reached out and clutched at Phil’s shirt, his nails digging themselves into the fabric. Slowly, Dan’s legs uncurled and he stretched them out, brushing his feet against Phil’s calves, which made Phil tangle their legs together. 

Phil pressed a kiss to the top of Dan’s head, and when Dan looked up at him with a wan smile, he kissed Dan’s forehead, too. “Anything for you,” he answered, minutely tightening his grip on Dan to hold him closer. 

Phil knew that sometimes, he couldn’t just up and fix whatever was bothering Dan and making him upset. And he knew that it was okay to not be okay. And until Dan felt okay again, Phil would stay here, keeping him warm and safe. 

Phil knew that sometimes, all Dan needed was someone to hold him. 


End file.
